Thursday, September 18, 2008

Feeling discouraged, tired, overwhelmed...etc...

Well, Yesterday after dropping off the older kids at school I ran out of gas! This has actually happened before. But, not when I was 9 months pregnant and in my pajamas! Praise God that it happened right next to a gas station though, I was able to turn the wheel fast enough and hard enough to at least make it into the drive way of the gas station before the van completely died. I thought, "Well, at least I'm here and not on the road." So, I went to grab my purse...AHHHHHHHHHH...NO PURSE! YAY! Well, I looked in the rear view mirror at my beautiful little almost 2 year old and thought, "Hmmmm, my pajamas weren't too bad, they were actually kind of cute, and they matched the flip-flops I was wearing...I did have a stroller, and her little pajamas were pretty cute too, and they totally color coordinated with mine and even the stroller. Plus, we didn't live to far away, and the weather was really beautiful, and even though I am ridiculously pregnant and can't even stand the thought of walking upstairs in our house I was blessed with the ability to even be able to walk." Hey, I was trying to see the positive in this very un-positive situation. So, I went into the gas station and explained the situation to the kind of confused looking attendant, eventually I gave up with the sob story and told her I'd be back and to please not have the van towed. Well, the walk started off wonderfully actually. I praised God for the beautiful weather. Bella was waving at all the cars driving by while she said hi and bye to each one and she and I sang some songs. The sun felt good and the breeze was cool enough to keep us from getting hot, but warm enough to keep us feeling great. I even thought, "Well, I have been wanting to take a good walk to try and get this labor thing started, so now here's my chance." Again, just trying to remain positive...Ya, that only lasted about 45 minutes!!! Eventually my legs wanted to fall off and my uterus wanted to fall out! Sorry, I didn't mean to be so graphic! I was in the most agonizing pain ever! I wanted to cry my eyeballs out, which I did when I finally got home an hour and a half later! I just kept praying and praying that God would keep me going, and then when I finally saw our trash cans in our drive way (it was trash day), It all broke loose, I just cried and cried! I was never so happy to see my trash cans before in my life, it was such a beautiful sight, seriously it was! Finally I got inside the house and Bella and I plopped down on the couch and I smooched her and cuddled her like crazy! It was like we were lost in the Amazon for years and years and then we were finally rescued and back at home! Sometimes, I can be a little dramatic. And then came the CRAZY contractions, they were very hard and coming very fast, and I was in the most terrible pain ever! So, again I tried to think about this in a positive way...I thought, "Yes, here we go...even though that was soooooooooo excruciatingly ridiculous it will be so worth it because I just know that this baby has to be coming now!" Ya, never happened! "Are you kidding me?!" I asked God ever so gently. Then I thought if not even that crazy walk would start labor, would anything work, am I seriously never going to have this baby, is this going to be my new look?! So, that's where I am now...tired, exhausted, in pain, and very impatient! Sigh! But, praise God the baby is healthy and kicking, and Bella and I made it home! Again, looking for the positive!


  1. Tina,
    What a Day! I know where your coming from By the time I had Olivia I was so tired of being pregnant and heavy. Once I had her I was so excited to finally hold her in my arms but for a while afterward I felt like I was missing something. I figured out i was missing my big uncomfortable belly where I could feel everytime she moved or hiccuped. Enjoy the belly for now you sweet little boy will be here soon.~Steph

  2. friend!!! I'm so sad that this happened to you today! YOu've been on my mind and I just picture you at home waiting and waiting with Bella, not walking and walking! You'll have to tell the little guy this story someday :)

  3. i love you crazy girl, what a "trip" but hey