Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Bouquet of Flowers...

Today while having breakfast with the kiddos, I stared at the beautiful bouquet of wild flowers my amazing husbando (no, this is not a typo...I call him husbando...and he's amazing!) picked for me the other day. As I sat there this overwhelming feeling of guilt came over me...I have been neglecting my Babe! Ugh...I hate when I do that!

See, for the past couple weeks...Hmmm...Ok, maybe a month...Alright fine, I'll be honest...It's probably been more like a year...or two...but, more these past couple weeks. Anyway, all the kiddos have been sick and I've had to go to the Dr's office waaaay more than anyone should ever have to in their whole entire lifetime, their schools are having their end of the school year activities, some of them are involved in sports or some other extra-curricular something...I've been busy...very busy...insanely busy...AND waaaay to busy to be a wife to my husbando!

I mean seriously, if there was a such thing as HPS (Husband Protective Services) then I'd be in huge amounts of trouble for neglecting him! I've been doing all the "serving" aspects of marriage...dishes, cooking, laundry, small talk...yadda-yadda...BUT, I haven't really stopped, took a breath, and spent any for real sincere time with him! Can you imagine if a parent did this to a child?!

Say we spent this kind of day with our children...
Wake up, give them breakfast, dress them, ignore them while we clean the house, give them a snack, ignore them some more, give them lunch, ignore them some more, nap time, wake up, give them a snack, ignore them some more, dinner time, ignore them some more, jammies on, go to hugs, no kisses, no playing, no talking, no enjoying them...

How awful that would be for your child! Do you agree? See, even though I would be providing them the "practical" things they needed, I would still be neglectful by withholding the essentials of our relationship as mother and child. My children NEED my affection...So does my husband!

It's understandable to be exhausted and exasperated after the stressful busy moments...But, be careful not to neglect your husband in it all. It's pretty stinkin' easy to do if you've got a guy like mine! Haha...Ok, that didn't sound so great...What I mean is...If you have a man who takes the neglect without complaint, it's pretty easy to go on ignoring him while tending to other "important" issues. He understands that right now since we have a house full of little ones, my affection is to be shared. But, that's the whole point...SHARED. It's very easy to get caught up in all the "other things" of life...Mothering, cleaning, cooking, church activities, school activities, after school activities, etc...But, I also need to set aside time for my husband...He is first and foremost my numero uno priority...After, of course my relationship with God. And, I'm not talking about giving him just five or ten minutes at the end of the day right before I collapse in exhaustion either. I'm talking about spending true quality time with him, making him feel loved and important to me. When he's my first priority, everything matter how huge and stressful seems to go a lot easier! This is the way God has intended it to be...So, that's probably why!

Making the husbando #1 isn't all that easy...Haha...Again, didn't mean for this to sound bad! What I mean is...The "other important stuff" I have to take care of is A LOT of work! So, sometimes (who am I kidding, MANY times) he get's pushed waaaay back to the end of the line. The secret is to keep him at the front of the line in my heart and pray that God will help me. The reality is...I'm gonna fail...miserably! I always do...every day! The amazing truth though, is...Jesus Christ died for my neglectfulness...He died for the continuous amounts of times I ignore my husband and tend to other matters...He died for the times my heart attitude is cold towards my husband and I will make up excuses for the neglect such as, "I just have to much to do!" The good news is...When God sees me now...He sees me as His beautiful sinless Son Jesus Christ loving my husband the way He intended! What?! Yep, even when I fail...God sees me as if I am doing what I should be doing! What amazing grace! Doesn't that just karate chop ya in the heart?! Makes you wanna kick your butt in gear, doesn't it? Not because we are bound by The Law...But because we are saved by grace!

This morning as God brought this to my heart I was both saddened and thankful. So sad that I let my hubster down...Sad that he was ignored by the woman who is supposed to be his best friend. And thankful? Yes, thankful! I have such a wonderful husband...He's quite the understanding guy. What a sacrificial heart he has. Instead of huffing and puffing in anger...or wallowing in despair and throwing himself a much deserved pitty-party over his wife's neglectfulness...He instead picks her a bouquet of beautiful flowers! 

So thankful that The Holy Spirit opened up my heart and my eyes to my shortcomings today...I pray God helps me re-prioritize my days so that my husband isn't stuck with only getting my left over exhaustion at the end of the day.

I love you Gary!!! You are truly an amazing husbando...and you're mine!!!

Goofing around pretending to be cow-pokes