Family Christmas Letter 2019

Dear Family & Friends,

Can I be honest with you all? You know, I really didn't feel like writing our family letter or sending out any pictures or cards. And I thought, "That's ok!" But, my kiddos kept asking when we were going to hand out our usual cards and gifts for teachers, neighbors, the mailman...So a few guilt trips later and here I am. Haha!

I thought I'd write up a short and sweet one, just to check in...And to let you know that we do indeed love you all and think about you and miss you and wish we could be spending this season together. What a treasure "time" is! Time shared with our loved ones...Precious memories shared in stories past and new memories made in fun adventures!

My hope for this new year is to create "simple" memories...Having my eyes opened up more to the everyday, in the moment opportunities to make meaningful memories...and not just the scheduled busy ones!

I pray you and your's will also find your "in the moment" memories in this new year!

Here's a bit of what's going on with our fam...

Victoria - She's taken a semester off of school to focus on work and a musical (Chicago...the musical, not the city) that she's in. She's very excited! She's had a promotion at work and is looking to climb that ladder even further...Haha! We're very proud of her! Oh and P.S. she brought home a puppy that she named Rusty, after Grandpa Russ. Sigh...I tolerate her...Haha!

Jordan - Not even a year out of high school just yet and this guy is hard at work! He works at our local burger place and was encouraged by the General Manager and then promoted to manger after only about a year and a half! He and some friends built his very own computer and he's participated in gaming tournaments...He's very techy...Haha! He will often say things that my brain can't even fathom sometimes! I'm impressed with him every time he opens his mouth...He's a genius!

Kaylie - Will be 17 this coming year and is a junior in high school. She's now taking online courses for school instead of attending a traditional school, and is enjoying the freedom that brings! Her new puppy Aria (yep, another stinking puppy!) and boyfriend Xavier keep her busy! She's also been looking for a job so she can spread those wings!

Grace - Will be 15 next month and is in her first year of high school! She's also taking online classes instead of attending traditional school. She enjoys working at her own pace without the distraction and demands of a classroom setting. She's still interested in teaching herself songs on her ukulele and singing. She also loves the makeup and hair dye this year...Haha!

Isabella - Just turned 13 and is in the 7th grade. She's in her second year at our local Catholic school and still loves it! She's still very involved in ALL the things...Sports, new one this year was volleyball, Drama Club, they're doing 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat', Choir, Band, basically anything and everything! I honestly don't know how this girl has so much energy! I get exhausted just watching her...Haha!

Joshua - Just turned 11 and is in the 5th grade. He's still homeschooling and when I bring up him attending school with Bella next year...Ummm...He'd rather just not! Haha! He's my homebody. So, we'll see how that goes. He's very techy like JoJo and these two have plans to attend game tournaments together...Haha! Right now Joshua is in the planning phase of building a battle bot. He loves robotics and figuring out how things work! Also he loves hiphop...both music and dancing! That kid has mad skills!

Bryanna - She'll be 9 this coming year and is in the 3rd grade. She's also still homeschooling, but is excited at the prospect of attending school. Bryanna is a true social butterfly through and through! She's already planning all the extracurricular activities that she'd like to be a part of...Haha! She's still my magical, glitter princess, rainbow loving, unicorn riding, mermaid girl! I just love her creative spirit! She dances and sings through life...Literally!

John - He's a big 3 year old now! And oooh man, he's got that "three-nager" attitude thing down man! His facial expressions are hilarious! You never have to try and guess how he's feeling cause his face will for sure tell you...even just his eyebrows...Haha! It's hard to correct him most times cause you just want to laugh...Sigh! And then his activity level! Ummm...He has two...Sleeping and Crack! Oh but his love! He has the biggest sweetest heart...and his snuggles are even bigger! He's like a spider-monkey monster truck mixed with a cuddly bunny...Haha! It's kinda unfair he has to grow up! Although, he says he's still my baby. I will ask, "Hey Buddy, are you my big boy?" He says, "No Mama, I a baby not big!" I'm good with it...Haha!

And now, Gary - He's growing his company...or I should say, God continues to truly bless his company each year! He's always got new plans in the works and ideas that he just can't wait to pull out of his head and put into motion! He's got such a huge heart for his clients and seeing their businesses grow and flourish! He's so very creative and what a talent he has! He's very excited for what's in store for 2020!

And then me, Christina or Tina - Honestly, 2019 has been a rough year for me. It seems almost immediately it went from "Happy New Year!" to "Ugh!" Emotionally, Physically, Mentally...Sigh! I'm usually not this honest, but you know what...it's ok to be sometimes. This year was not my favorite and it's ok to admit that. My dad, Russ learned his cancer returned after such a miraculous gift of a new heart and liver...I was angry with God. I had another cardiac arrest...I was angry at God. I "came out" as a Catholic and lost many friends...I was angry at God. My dad's health declined quickly...I was angry at God. Finances were tough this year...I was angry at God. My marriage has been through the ringer this year...I was angry at God. My dad just passed early last month due to the cancer spreading like wildfire though his body...I so desperately wanted to, but couldn't be angry at God. And then it hit me...God has been here with me, with my dad, with my husband, with my family, with all involved, though ALL of it. All of the joys and all of our sorrows...and all the in betweens. It took me a minute, but God brought me back to see His many blessings in all that this year held. His sovereign hand was and is over it all. His goodness is sometimes difficult to see when we're blinded by our own versions of the way things should be. I'm not bad for wanting things to be easy-peasy and awesome, but I shouldn't be angry when things go differently...especially at my Lord. Instead those are the times that I need to fully trust in Him and fall into His arms and allow Him to carry me through. He has never failed me and He won't start now. I don't know what 2020 has in store...But, I pray my heart is turned toward allowing God's will to be done and for me to anticipate His goodness!

Thank you for bearing with me through our family letter this year and letting me share. So much for short and sweet...Haha! I pray you and yours have a wonderful Christmas and a very happy New Year! May you see our good God's blessing all year long!

With Lots of Love, The Morris Crew

A Memorial for Dad

It's so hard having to saying goodbye to a parent. I've had to do so now twice. And I assure you it doesn't ever get any easier. If anything, it just gets harder.

Today is the memorial service for my Father, Russ. We were asked to share some words. That was actually a much harder task than I anticipated. For one, we were asked to share a short paragraph. Well, if you know me, you know that I'm pretty long winded. Soooo a "short paragraph"? Haha! But second, my heart is just so heavy and emotional right now. My mind just can't gather my thoughts. There's so much I want to share of him. So much story to tell of who he is and who he is to me.

Maybe it's because I feel like I didn't get enough time with him. My children didn't get to have enough time with him. There was still so much more I wanted to learn from him and talk to him about and plans and things and stuff! It all just seems so unfair.

Even though dad was technically my dad for all my life, I didn't know him as such until I was 18 years old. This coming February 2020, it would have been 24 years (That story can be found here). Maybe I feel a bit ripped off? Shorted? I don't know...Just brokenhearted.

Please don't get me wrong, growing up with my Dad, John who raised me was awesome! He was my very best friend! I would never want to go back and change a thing! Growing up he was our superhero and frankly, our everything! And losing him unexpectedly in 2011 was devastating (that story can be found here). Maybe it's that I didn't get enough time with either of them...my two dads. But, do we ever get to a point in life where we feel it's been long enough? Yeah, probably not.

I think it's because I've finally gotten to a point in my life where I was getting "used to" (if that's even a such thing) living with a piece of my heart missing...and then I lose another.

To have to go through each holiday, birthdays, special days...everyday. It's so hard. You think of something you want to ask, you have something hilarious happen and want to share, your heart is sad and you just need to hear their words of wisdom. You see them in your children's smile, the twinkle in their eyes and in the waves of their hair. You hear them in yourself as you tell an obnoxious joke and let out a hearty belly laugh! You hear them in the tenderness of your voice and feel them in the comfort of your arms as you console your little ones' hearts. You sense their presence when you're alone and lost in your thoughts...you just miss them so deeply.

You want to keep their spirits alive, so you share stories of anything and everything you can think of...even the simple ones.

And the dreams...Those precious blessed gifts from God you receive here and there to let you know that everything is much more than just ok...but wonderful and oh so beautiful!

The world moves on...even you...and sometimes it seems unfair.

Wait! Let me tell you more about the ones I love! Please don't forget! Please sit and listen...

I realize it's ok to hurt, to grieve, to share and never let go...

It's not a sickness or a disorder.

It's expected...And, should be.

Death isn't joyful or happy.

Death is the cause of brokenness.

But, I trust that God uses ALL things...

He gave us His only Son, Jesus

And He came to defeat death!

And in Him we have a promise!

Until then, it's ok to mourn when we must say goodbye...

But it's only just for now...

Because after all...
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning
~Psalm 30:5

And so, I will also try to celebrate! Celebrate in the memories. Celebrate who they were...who they are! And more importantly, what's to come!

Here's my "short paragraph" for Dad...

Uncle Russ with the cool big red truck. My dad's friend. The really nice guy who let us climb all over his truck and even him too!

Until the day I discovered he wasn't just "Uncle Russ".

Instead, I learned he was actually my father. A secret kept for 18 years...from me, from him, from many others.

It's funny to look back on those days...My heart knew his already and his knew mine. It just needed to be reminded somehow that we were each other's.

There wasn't this awkward trying to get to know each other stage...He quickly became my father and I, his daughter. Like we just picked right up where we left off as if in another life...Probably just the way it should have always been.

My heart is forever grateful to have been reconnected with my father, who became one of my best friends, my hero, an amazing role model to not just myself, but his grandchildren!

I am honored to be called his daughter.

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance...
~Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

And what a beautiful joy it is now for dad to be dancing with our good and kind Lord!

 

Goodbye for now...Until we meet again Dad!