Harming Our Own

Being a mother, I am horrified when I read or hear of a story about another mother who has hurt her own children. It literally pains my heart. But, why?

How are we as a people shocked when we hear of children being neglected, abused, tortured, and murdered at the hands of their own parents, when we as a nation have fought for and won the rights to end the lives of our unborn children in the womb? Our own unborn children in our own wombs! We no longer refer to them as babies, but fetuses or clusters of cells, blobs, masses of tissue. They are called parasites, burdens, unwanted, mistakes, annoyances. They have been ripped of their most inherent human right...Their own right to life. We have screamed from the mountain tops that the woman has the right to choose...It's her body...No one has the right to force their beliefs or opinions upon her and her rights. Meanwhile the unborn have no rights...have no worth...have no value. And then we dare to be surprised when a mother kills her own 2 children and hides their bodies in a freezer for several years?! We can't believe that a mother would kill her own son and hide his body in her car for several years?! Are you kidding me?! Are we really confused by this?! I mean, weren't they just exercising their own rights to rid themselves of mere annoyances?

When we legalized abortion, we in turn spoke very loud and very clear how children are to be viewed. How can we expect mothers to cherish and treasure their children when they have the right to end their own babies' lives? It's just a matter of age and location...In the womb, 6 months old, 2 years old, 10 years old...15! It doesn't matter. Just mere issues of legality. We have no respect for life...Well, for the lives of our most innocent. Until women begin to truly see the worth of their unborn child, that they are not just a fetus, but a baby, their baby...Then they will begin to value that life and desire to protect that life. Until then, stop being so surprised by parents harming their own children...I mean, they are only acting out what has been fought for.

Where was I?

Today one of my kiddos had a Dr's Appt. and while waiting in the lobby I met the most adorable little guy...and his Mama. He was so precious and was so not shy in the least. I asked his Mama how old he was and she said he was a year. She then tells me, "Oh man, after I had him it was like the floodgates opened up for my body to have more babies!" I was a little shocked by her openness and laughed, and responded, "Oh, really?" She says, "Oh ya, I was pregnant with twin girls!" I say, "Wow, really? You have a one year old and twin girls?! That's w..." Before I can even finish saying "That's wonderful!" she interrupts me and proudly corrects me, "On no! I WAS pregnant with twin girls...I had to get rid of that!" And she laughed and laughed...

I was shocked...Shocked silent. I didn't know how to respond to her. I sat silently for a moment...a long awkward moment and then said, "Oh." All I said was, "Oh." The only thing that came out of my mouth was, "Oh". I was afraid to say anything else as I glanced over at my own children...I wanted to come right out and ask, "Oh, you had an abortion?" To which of course she would have answered yes. Then I would have asked her why. But, those words weren't coming out of my mouth...Just "Oh". I looked at another mother seated by me who sat there eyes widened as she played with her own daughter's braided hair. She looked shocked too...Both of us saying nothing....Both of us obviously shocked by the young mother's unapologetic honesty. I was thankful when the receptionist called us. I didn't even look at her when we passed by...Instead, with my head filled with whirling thoughts, heart filled with overwhelming emotion and eyes filled with tears, I smiled at her little boy...This precious little one year old full of life!

On the drive home I became filled with anger...How can she be so brazen about what she did? She aborted her twin baby girls! For her to know that they were twins AND girls, meant she had to be pretty far along. She had to have heard their heart beats...She had to have seen them moving and playing in her womb...Her girls...Her two baby girls! How does someone do that?! And then to talk about it so openly as if it were just casual conversation...As if she were just changing her mind at the grocery store putting something back on the shelf!

I thought to myself...I know women who have had abortions and now regret that decision. They are crushed and heartbroken by the choice they made to end their precious unborn baby's life. They often will say that they never knew their baby was as developed as they thought...That they were lied to at the clinic...That they thought their baby was just a "mass of tissue" or a "cluster of cells"...Not yet a formed baby. They are broken inside for the loss of their baby....A loss caused by their own choice. They have gone through post traumatic stress disorder, depression and suicidal thoughts or even attempts. But, here is this woman bragging to a waiting room that she "got rid of" her twin girls! No remorse...No shame. She obviously knew she wasn't aborting a mass of tissue...No, she knew full well that she was ending the lives...not the potential lives...but the actual lives of her two baby girls! Why?! AND, she's a mother! She had already given birth to a very healthy and beautiful baby boy! What could cause her to not allow those babies life?! I was getting madder and madder the further I drove and the further I thought.

I started thinking..."I wonder if there were any of those sidewalk counselor's there? Was there anyone out there calling out to her pleading for her children's lives? Was there anyone there speaking up for her children who have no voice? Hmmm...I bet not. I wonder if there had been, maybe those twin girls would still be here today. There needs to be more people out there doing that. Where were they?"

And then it hit me...I heard God say to my heart..."Where were YOU?"

I cried...Where was I? That's the real question...We all want others to get the work done...But, where am I? Maybe if I was out there, those twin girls would still be here...Or perhaps maybe not...But, I will never know that because I wasn't there.

No more waiting for someone else to do the work. I am committing myself to being there. I don't know where to start or even what to say. But, I know that I can no longer sit safely at home hiding behind my computer posting pro-life pictures, quotes and articles on FaceBook, Twitter, etc...while wondering "where they were".
I have to...No, I must get out there and be there. I feel unworthy...I know that I am not capable of changing other people's minds...But...God is.

I am trusting in Him who is calling me to be there...

Rescue those who are being taken away to death;

hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.

If you say, "Behold, we did not know this,"

does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?

Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, 

and will he not repay man according to his work?

~Proverbs 24:11-12

An ultrasound image of 13 week old twins 

Wait Patiently For Her...Right Now She's Mine

My beautiful 17 year old daughter who is a Junior in high school has this way about her...A gentle, loving, kind, free spirited, and feisty kind of way about her. She's both delicate and tough...Has a soft heart but can handle the trials God hands her with such strength. I am often in awe of her...Just watching who she is...Since she was just an infant cradled in my arms nursing away, to a rambunctious toddler in princess dresses and boots climbing trees, to my little ballerina dancing her heart out as if no one else were there, to a shy and timid 12 year old wanting to rather hide away than have to look into someone's eyes or to speak out loud (unless you were a good friend or family member and then you'd know a girl who could yack your ear off and give you a pretty good arm wrestling match), to the lovely young lady she is today...So precious and yet so ferocious at the very same time!

This girl of mine has attracted the attention of a couple young men, also in high school...That of course turns this normally quiet Mama (Haha...Ok, I laughed pretty hard at that too...But, let's all just play along for fun anyway), into a raging protective Mama Bear...on steroids! Now, at first it was kinda cute...only just a little kinda. Because I mean she is pretty stinkin' adorable...But, then it just got annoying. See, her Daddy and I have a rule...No dating in high school. I know that may seem harsh, extreme and maybe even a bit mean to some...But honestly, dating in high school is totally unnecessary and just asking for drama that no one at this age needs. We have all seen it, heard about it, or experienced it ourselves. We don't want that for our daughter...or any of our other children...or even your children for that matter. Now I'm not saying parents are wrong for allowing their children to date...It's just our personal convictions to not allow it. As we say...While we may be convicted of "something", that doesn't necessarily make that "something" a sin for someone else. This is just a personal thing that has been placed on our own hearts, parenting our own children.

Has this been easy? Nope. Her friends have all been dating since middle school...That occasionally makes her feel out of the loop and sometimes like a "baby". It does make me feel a tad smidge sorta kinda sad-ish for her...But, actually not really. To be completely honest, I don't really care too much that she hasn't had a real boyfriend...She has though been allowed a "special friend"...Which turned out to be pretty much a mistake and her dad and I learned some tough lessons through all that...Long story...We won't go there...Today...
No, I'm not sad that she hasn't experienced that thrill of someone telling you that they'll be with you for always and then experience the heartache of seeing him with someone new. I'm not disappointed for her that because she won't go far enough, she will then feel not good enough. I'm not too bummed out that she won't know what it's like to have her heart skip a beat when she's told I love you just to make some choices she shouldn't and then experience what it's like to be alone and have that feeling of regret, shame and loneliness. I'm ok with her not experiencing jealousy, rage, hate, unworthiness, self loathing, etc...All while in high school. High school is hard enough for goodness sakes, without all the unnecessary drama of dating another teenager also going through all the same hard growing up stuff! Why would you want to add to the already tough stuff?

Most of the time my daughter is completely fine with not dating. She gets an ear full and an eye full on a daily basis from her peers. And although she is very caring, kind, compassionate and attentive to their heartaches...She does not envy them. But, sometimes she still wonders what it would be like to be a "pair"...She fancies romance. Now, I am all for romance...Just not in high school. She is such a loving girl...She desires to love and be loved! This is perfectly fine for me...Not so much dad though. God created us to love. I want her to love and be loved too...Just not in high school. Sometimes she gets hurt because of our rule. She'll meet a young man who will always compliment "just how different she is than any other girl" and "how she has this special thing about her that makes you want to be different too". This will usually only last a couple months until they get bored and move on...Making her feel rejected. Sometimes she blames Mom and Dad. I know sometimes she thinks it's our fault...But honestly, I think we are doing her a favor. See, the good guys will show her that they respect her by respecting her parents views and wishes.They will befriend her and wait patiently to see what the future holds because they know deep in their hearts, she's worth it...And the other guys? Well, the impatient ones get weeded out. And, I'm sure that's an added gift from God.
She is well aware that the ones who move on, weren't really her's to begin with anyway...and God has graciously showed her this through their own choice of walking away without any fault of her's.

Now I wouldn't say that my husband and I believe in courting versus dating...Although, we do feel like dating should include the parents. It just helps keep things out in the open and helps keep both parties accountable. And, when our children are graduated from high school if they so choose to date...That's between them, the one whom they chose, and God. We can only pray and hope for the best...and trust in the Lord.

My girl is now at a place where she wants to trust in God and also trust that we are making parenting decisions that will bless her. She wants to patiently wait upon the Lord...Although, it's tough when you're a girl with a romantic heart. She wants to meet her "Prince Charming". But, right now she belongs to this Mama Bear.

Cleaning my toilet for the glory of God

I haven't posted in a really long time...Busy with our 7 kiddos and my new adventure of homeschooling! Before you think I'm amazing to be homeschooling 7 children...No...Only 3 of our 7 homeschool...and then out of those 3, only 2 are doing "real" school...My youngest just turned 4 and does "fun school"...Haha! Although I'd LOVE to homeschool all 7, being that we are a "blendy-fam", we just don't have that freedom...But, God is still so good.

Anyway, what made me want to blog today? Well, I was cleaning a gross nasty toilet...For God's glory! Hahaha! Well, not at first...At first I was pretty ticked actually about cleaning the gross nasty toilet! See, I was currently on one of my "Mom Strikes" when the toilet flooded over and because there was already a mess, the new mess added to the fun. Sigh...I wish I'd learn that going on my "Mom Strikes" don't help, but alas I never do! What is a "Mom Strike" you ask? Well, for me it means that I am throwing about a week long prideful silent temper tantrum where I sit on my high horse, do the bare minimum and make others feel guilty about not doing enough to help around the house...Lovely, right? See, the problem with this is that it doesn't help. What happens is that things start to pile up and just get gross and dirty and nasty. Eventually the fam starts to help...Not cause they love me and want to help me, but because they feel guilty and then begrudgingly assist...And because my silent temper tantrum has turned into more of an angry troll growling dance that scares them into submission!

I started off cleaning the toilet with these thoughts, "Ugh...Why am I the only one who cleans the bathrooms?! Why do they always clog the toilet?! Why don't they listen when I say not to use so much stinkin' dang toilet paper?! Why don't they help more?! Why?! Why?! Why?!"

All of a sudden...Boom...It hit me...Right in the heart..."Clean this toilet for the glory of God!"

I would like to say right then and there my attitude changed...Nope...Not me...I argued, "Ya right!"
Then again in my heart..."Clean this toilet as if you are cleaning it for God!"
"How?! I am soooo stinkin' mad!" I screamed...Inside my head of course, cause that would have been pretty awkward to yell that in the bathroom all by myself.

All of a sudden I felt my heart start to change...I became very emotional. I was mad because "they" didn't do enough for me. I threw temper tantrums because I felt entitled to something that "they" weren't giving. "They" are my family...The ones I love...The ones I have been gifted by God! "They" aren't the enemy...They are my heart!

I started thinking...When my little ones make messes, my husband doesn't help do the laundry, or my little guy uses too much toilet paper and causes a mini explosion...They are still my gift from God. Do they maliciously do what they do? Of course not. My younger kiddos will play and forget to pick up their toys...They will leave dirty socks on the living room floor...My husband and older kiddos will not want to help with laundry...or dishes...My family will make the toilet overflow from stuffing waaay too much toilet paper down...It's not because they want to purposely upset me or stress me out...It's cause they are not perfect...But, neither am I. How dare I throw prideful temper tantrums as if I am any better. God has chosen to love me unconditionally with all of my many many many faults, failures and imperfections! I will chose not to obsess over what my family doesn't do, but rather focus on, cherish and celebrate all they do!

My little 4 year old Bryanna loves to help make beds, load the silverware into the dishwasher, feed the puppy, and snuggle like crazy with her Mama!

My 6 year old Joshua loves to help me teach his 4 year old sister colors, shapes, letters and numbers. He likes helping me make meals and pour the soap into the washing machine. He is full of adventure and loves telling me stories he's made up before bed. He still holds my hand while falling to sleep.

My 8 year old Isabella is like my little shadow! She is always ready and waiting to be asked and eager to help with a task. She has such a servants heart and will often put others before herself. She enjoys going grocery shopping with me and running other errands. She loves helping with her younger brother and sister. She tries to keep all of the siblings united and at peace. You can expect her to request several quick snuggle sessions throughout the day...and she sure does love the Lord!

My 10 year old Grace is always wanting to be asked to help too...It doesn't matter how big or how small...She wants to help in anyway that she can! She is sensitive and loves to love and be loved!

My almost 12 year old Kaylie is such sweet company...She will sit with me while I'm working away in the kitchen and we'll have the best conversations about school, friends, music and God. She's a tough girl on the outside, but is tender and gentle at heart.

My 14 year old Jordan takes good care of his Mama! He is always helping me even without me asking...He seems to know just what it is that I need even before I do! He makes sure that I rest when needed and won't let me over do it. He is a wonderful big brother and spends special time with each of his younger siblings. He has a wonderful and witty sense of humor! He is creative and full of curiosity! He's very bright and enjoys teaching me new things he's learned and sharing his ideas. He has such a sensitive and compassionate heart for others. He has such a heart for the Lord...I pray God continues to draw him closer to Himself!

My almost 17 year old Victoria is my treasure! She is truly a mini-me...Haha! This girl can cook a meal, answer the phone, load the dishwasher, check her I-Pod...all at the very same time...and with a baby on her hip! She has spent many nights down with me in the basement laughing, listening to music, talking and getting laundry washed, folded and organized. She helps me with all 6 of her siblings and even babysits...without complaint! She even has plans after highschool to not move very far for college so that she can still help with her brothers and sisters! She has become one of my closest friends...God has been so gracious to me...I look forward to seeing the woman, wife, mother she becomes.

My husband Gary works so hard! God has blessed him with the ability to provide for our large family while I am able to stay home. He never complains that I don't do enough...Ever. He never complains that we don't have enough...Ever. He works all day long at work and then comes home and will sit and listen to me talk for almost an hour without taking a breath...Just to turn around and spend more time with the kiddos for about another hour or so. He helps me get dinner going and set out for our kiddos. He brings his Bible to the dinner table each night to make sure that we get our Family Devotion time together. Finally around 8:00 he rests...While also multi-tasking between working at home on the computer and playing dragons, building Lego castles, dancing with Barbies, wrestling, having tickle fights and listening to the kids talk about their day. The timer set on his IPhone reminds him that he needs to remind his wife to take her heart meds at 10:00pm. After the rest of his family goes to bed...He studies...The word of God. He is always learning and growing in Christ...and excited to share that with others. He is my best friend and the love of my life!

I will chose to think about these things they do and these things that make up who they are rather than what I feel they don't do. I will chose to clean my toilet and serve my family for the glory of God...Thanking Him and Praising Him for the gift of my family and their hearts to serve me with love!

What about the "gays"?

So, I've been asked this question...

"You're pro-life, right? You're a Christian, right? So, what would you do if there was a test to find out if the baby you're pregnant with is going to be gay? Would you have an abortion, because Christians hate gays, right?"

Wow...He really thought he stumped me with that one!

My response...

"First off, you're wrong...Christians do not hate "gays"...Or well, they shouldn't. If you meet a Christian who says they hate gays, then ask them if that is what Jesus would want of them? As a Christian you are to love as Christ has also loved us...You are to show love and compassion, mercy and grace towards your neighbor...Loving them as yourself...Even if they are "gays", as you say. Christ Himself doesn't hate "gays"...We are created in His image...Even the "gays". Now, do I agree with everything about their lifestyle...No, I do not...But are they worse off than me or you? No, they are not. Are you perfect? No. Do you need Christ as Savior? Yes. Do I need Christ? Yes. Do "gays" need Christ? Yes. His blood that was shed on the cross was for all...even the "gays".

Second, I said that I am PRO-LIFE...Pro-Life means just that...PRO-LIFE...That means ALL life! I do not pick and choose who should live and who should die...That's God's job...and last time I checked, I wasn't Him...Thank God for that! So, even though you think you got me with your "gotcha" question...You didn't. Because even if I found out that my baby was going to grow up to be gay, I would still celebrate his or her life growing inside of me...I would happily anticipate the birth of my little one and would welcomingly embrace them into this world! I would love and nurture him or her...always and forever! I would teach them of God, His love, His mercy, His only Son Christ Jesus and His saving grace! I would trust in the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and might that His will be done in my child's life!"

The Gospel and Blueberry Pancakes

Joshy "helping" make blueberry pancakes

My sweet 3 year old Joshua has had a really rough week...Haha...Who am I kidding? He's had a really rough year! See, his darling little sister turned a year old this year and is now more of a "mover and a shaker" instead of just that cute little thing who sits in the bouncer, or swings in the swing, or is attached to mom. She can run, jump, and climb...and even attack when she decides that she wants whatever object Joshua seems to be holding! Joshua has even learned that her voice can get extremely ear piercingly loud when she doesn't get her way...Or when he's a little to physically aggressive. Poor Joshy...That little guy has more discipline action than cuddle action sometimes! Don't get me wrong...He's such a good big brother, and he truly adores his little sister...Unfortunately though, he also truly adores picking on her...A LOT! Which of course brings on the discipline!

Now, Lil Miss Bryanna isn't so innocent...Oh no, She's a little stinker actually! She can be quite the bully, and she's not to shy to throw her weight around (yep, she's a chubster all right!) or her very loud screeching voice! Joshy will sometimes give in to her bully-ish temper tantrums just to keep her quiet...Yes, her pterodactyl like screaming is really that intimidating at times! But then once she's quiet...He'll retaliate and totally tick her off. This can make discipline rather fun at times...I'm trying to stop Bryanna's sinful temper tantrums...Joshua gives in to her sin...He then sins against her for sinning against him...And...So on...

Joshua finds himself in trouble often these days...But, more so this week...We have all been sick over here with a nasty summer cold...Joshua and Bryanna got it real bad...And, Bryanna's was even worse than Joshy's. Well, you know when kiddos are sick parents tend to spoil them a smidge...Or, maybe it's just me...Whatever, I was sick too...Don't judge me! Anyway...Lil Miss had such a terrible sore throat, very stuffy nose,  and a horrible cough that I really didn't want her to cry to hard. This is because when she'd cry it would really hurt her throat...which would make her cry harder, which would make her start to cough, which would hurt even more, more crying, more coughing, she'd start gagging on all the lovely flem and mucus, she'd start throwing up, snot was flying from her nose...You get the picture, right? Well, Joshy was constantly giving up his toys because he didn't want her to "barf". He'd say, "Oh no Bynna's gonna barf...Don't cry, don't cry Bynna." And then give her what ever she wanted. I tried so hard to help her and help him through all this "fun" stuff this week...Ugh...I just kept praying...A LOT...All...Day...Long...

I needed help...Then it smacked me like a brick to the face...I needed God's grace...Even during these difficult times, He loves me and I am His...His Holy Spirit is always with me...Guiding me.

Even when I'm running around like a stressed out chicken with it's head cut-off and going crazy with no patience...God's grace is sufficient...

I was trying so hard to do it all without Him...Totally unnecessary...I was exhausted! I immediately thanked Him for His love for me...And praised Him for the reminder of His faithfulness! 

Even when I ignore His presence and forget to ask Him for His much needed help...He lovingly sticks it out with me...even if it lands me flat on my tired face!

This morning we woke up late after a very long night...Joshua and Bryanna were both up very late with horrible coughs. I was cranky...They were cranky...The whole house quickly became cranky. I tried to get breakfast going which seemed impossible...To much crankiness! Breakfast was quickly turning into lunch. Then to top it all off...Bryanna starts to screech at the top of her sore little lungs...Joshy runs in to her and puts his arms around her..."Shhh Bynna, don't cry, please don't cry...you gonna barf." He then kisses her forehead, gives her another hug, gives her his beloved Bob the Builder book and Thomas the Train and smiles at her...He gave her his treasures "to make her smile" he said. He gave her grace...Did she deserve his treasures? No, quite the opposite really. Even though she was sick and hurting...Her heart was very angry and selfish...Joshua loved her anyway...He knew that she needed something...He wanted to help her. So, He gave up his own treasures for her happiness! He was so happy and pleased that he "made Bynna happy now!", and he proudly smiled at her! Joshua had so much joy in seeing that Bryanna found her joy in his act of love for her!

What a reminder of Jesus' own "act of love" for us, when He chose to die for on that cross! How merciful to take our punishment and very much deserved penalty upon Himself. He gave up His own life for us! How gracious of our Holy God to give us what we don't deserve by imputing His Son's righteousness on us...Seeing us as holy, beautiful, and fully completed in His Son Jesus Christ! Wow...What an amazing God I serve! And, to think that He finds joy in us when we find our joy in Him...Amazing!

Well...because Joshy isn't God, but just a totally depraved 3 year old...He snatched away the Thomas toy as soon as she stopped crying...*Sigh*...Oh well...But, instead of a long lecture on why he shouldn't do that and more discipline I instead took him into the kitchen after consoling Bryanna. He seemed a little confused as to why he wasn't in trouble. I hugged him asked him if he wanted to help me make blueberry pancakes...Of course he said yes! While we cooked...Well technically, I cooked and he made a mess...We also talked about Jesus. We talked about how thankful we are that He died for our sins...How thankful we are that He has forgiven us...How thankful we are that He loves us...Even when we sin. Joshy seemed pretty shocked that God still loves him even when he "does something bad". "God forgave you Joshy...When Jesus died on the cross, your sins died with Him...You are no longer "bad" in His eyes...When Jesus rose from the grave, You became alive with Him...You are alive in Christ! When God sees you, He sees a good Joshy, a sweet little dude. He is always with you...He will always love you...Even when you sin."
I gave him grace...God's grace...The Gospel...

Later in the afternoon, Bryanna got all feisty on Joshua...AGAIN...Freaked out over some toy of his that she desperately wanted...He sacrificially gave it to her and smiled...He then stole it back about a minute later though...She started to cry...He told his heart to "be nice", gave it back to her, and then happily exclaimed for all to hear, "Jesus is alive...He loves me!"

Yep...He's still a work in progress...Haha...Aren't we all?
Though the toughest work of all will be to fully trust in the work that has already been done for us...

By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins....~1 John 4:9-10

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
~Romans 5:8

We love, because He first loved us.
~1John 4:19

A Bouquet of Flowers...

Today while having breakfast with the kiddos, I stared at the beautiful bouquet of wild flowers my amazing husbando (no, this is not a typo...I call him husbando...and he's amazing!) picked for me the other day. As I sat there this overwhelming feeling of guilt came over me...I have been neglecting my Babe! Ugh...I hate when I do that!

See, for the past couple weeks...Hmmm...Ok, maybe a month...Alright fine, I'll be honest...It's probably been more like a year...or two...but, more these past couple weeks. Anyway, all the kiddos have been sick and I've had to go to the Dr's office waaaay more than anyone should ever have to in their whole entire lifetime, their schools are having their end of the school year activities, some of them are involved in sports or some other extra-curricular something...I've been busy...very busy...insanely busy...AND waaaay to busy to be a wife to my husbando!

I mean seriously, if there was a such thing as HPS (Husband Protective Services) then I'd be in huge amounts of trouble for neglecting him! I've been doing all the "serving" aspects of marriage...dishes, cooking, laundry, small talk...yadda-yadda...BUT, I haven't really stopped, took a breath, and spent any for real sincere time with him! Can you imagine if a parent did this to a child?!

Say we spent this kind of day with our children...
Wake up, give them breakfast, dress them, ignore them while we clean the house, give them a snack, ignore them some more, give them lunch, ignore them some more, nap time, wake up, give them a snack, ignore them some more, dinner time, ignore them some more, jammies on, go to bed...no hugs, no kisses, no playing, no talking, no enjoying them...

How awful that would be for your child! Do you agree? See, even though I would be providing them the "practical" things they needed, I would still be neglectful by withholding the essentials of our relationship as mother and child. My children NEED my affection...So does my husband!

It's understandable to be exhausted and exasperated after the stressful busy moments...But, be careful not to neglect your husband in it all. It's pretty stinkin' easy to do if you've got a guy like mine! Haha...Ok, that didn't sound so great...What I mean is...If you have a man who takes the neglect without complaint, it's pretty easy to go on ignoring him while tending to other "important" issues. He understands that right now since we have a house full of little ones, my affection is to be shared. But, that's the whole point...SHARED. It's very easy to get caught up in all the "other things" of life...Mothering, cleaning, cooking, church activities, school activities, after school activities, etc...But, I also need to set aside time for my husband...He is first and foremost my numero uno priority...After, of course my relationship with God. And, I'm not talking about giving him just five or ten minutes at the end of the day right before I collapse in exhaustion either. I'm talking about spending true quality time with him, making him feel loved and important to me. When he's my first priority, everything else...no matter how huge and stressful seems to go a lot easier! This is the way God has intended it to be...So, that's probably why!

Making the husbando #1 isn't all that easy...Haha...Again, didn't mean for this to sound bad! What I mean is...The "other important stuff" I have to take care of is A LOT of work! So, sometimes (who am I kidding, MANY times) he get's pushed waaaay back to the end of the line. The secret is to keep him at the front of the line in my heart and pray that God will help me. The reality is...I'm gonna fail...miserably! I always do...every day! The amazing truth though, is...Jesus Christ died for my neglectfulness...He died for the continuous amounts of times I ignore my husband and tend to other matters...He died for the times my heart attitude is cold towards my husband and I will make up excuses for the neglect such as, "I just have to much to do!" The good news is...When God sees me now...He sees me as His beautiful sinless Son Jesus Christ loving my husband the way He intended! What?! Yep, even when I fail...God sees me as if I am doing what I should be doing! What amazing grace! Doesn't that just karate chop ya in the heart?! Makes you wanna kick your butt in gear, doesn't it? Not because we are bound by The Law...But because we are saved by grace!

This morning as God brought this to my heart I was both saddened and thankful. So sad that I let my hubster down...Sad that he was ignored by the woman who is supposed to be his best friend. And thankful? Yes, thankful! I have such a wonderful husband...He's quite the understanding guy. What a sacrificial heart he has. Instead of huffing and puffing in anger...or wallowing in despair and throwing himself a much deserved pitty-party over his wife's neglectfulness...He instead picks her a bouquet of beautiful flowers! 

So thankful that The Holy Spirit opened up my heart and my eyes to my shortcomings today...I pray God helps me re-prioritize my days so that my husband isn't stuck with only getting my left over exhaustion at the end of the day.

I love you Gary!!! You are truly an amazing husbando...and you're mine!!!

Goofing around pretending to be cow-pokes