Encouragement For "S-A-H" Mamas

I read two REALLY encouraging blogs recently that I wanted to share with other fellow "Stay-At-Home" Moms. Do you sometimes struggle with these thoughts, "Am I really doing enough for Christ...Could there be something else I should be doing...?" Do you feel that changing diapers & wiping noses (everyday...ALL DAY LONG!) just isn't exactly what you had envisioned as "ministry"? Do you find yourself becoming discouraged?

PLEASE read these two blogs...they are truly encouraging!

'Motherhood as a Mission Field' Can be viewed here

'Can I really glorify God by being a stay-at-home mom?' Can be viewed here

Saying Goodbye to Daddy...

My Father passed away on Friday, January 14, 2011.
This was sudden and came as quite a shock...he came down with a cold that developed into pneumonia...he fought for 6 days in the hospital, and sadly wasn't able to make it through.
I wasn't able to be there with him, which was extremely heart wrenching for me...He called out for me several times and as he called for me I am told he repeated..."Tina, Tina Baby, please pray for Daddy...I need you Tina to pray for Daddy..."
Before I even knew of this I was already on my knees before my merciful loving God doing just that...praying for my Daddy.
I trust in the Lord with all of my heart and even though His will may not always be mine...He is still worthy of my praise for He is good in all circumstances...
Below is the reading that will be read during my Father's Memorial Service. I wanted to share it with you because I wanted everyone to get to know my Daddy as I know him...
*Note...Jason is my brother, Hillary my sister, & Bryan my brother*

My Father...My Friend

When I think of my Dad I am completely consumed and flooded with memories of LOVE...He was the most loving, caring, compassionate man I have ever known. He was such a wonderful Daddy...and those memories will forever be in my heart. At a time when a lot of men not only walked away from but ran to escape their responsibilities of being a father...my Dad not only fully embraced this role...he fought for it. I remember most of my friends also came from single parent homes, but they didn't even really know their Fathers. As far back as I can remember my Daddy & us kids were inseparable...he was our hero, our playmate, our protector, our companion, our comforter, our best friend! We respected him and cherished him. He was our firm foundation and the center of our lives.

I remember every night he'd read to us from the Bible, and we'd talk about what he just read and what God wanted us to learn from His word. He'd pray with us, tuck us in, and kiss us goodnight...then of course we'd need a drink of water, had to go to the bathroom, needed to be tucked in again, and kissed again...and then sometime before morning we'd end up in his bed...I always felt so safe with him....I mean he was after all Super Man...I'm pretty sure he could fly, but only when we weren't looking, he didn't want his secret to get out....plus, he is a pretty big guy and it probably took him a bit to get off of the ground.

As teenagers we were pretty rambunctious to say the least...but he still remained incredibly patient and determined to love us...sometimes firmly, but always in love...speaking for only myself here...I'm shocked I or even he survived those years! I'm for sure that he referred to me as "CHRISTINA ANN!" much more than "Tina" at that time. I also believe this was around the same time his hair started to turn gray and fall out. During those years most of my friends hated their parents...they grew apart from them and alienated themselves from them. Oh now I do remember saying...or well more like yelling on more than one occasion, "I hate you, leave me alone!" And his response most of the time was," Oh no you don't, you love me...and I love you!" Wow, I sure gave him quite the hard time and yet through all of it...he remained my closest friend and confidant. I could always talk to him about anything and everything...he was the greatest listener, counselor, comforter, cheerleader, and encourager. Plus, if I ever had a problem with someone who may have hurt me...he was quite the raging bull...er...um, I mean defender and protector!

When I found out I was pregnant with my first child (Victoria)...I was so excited! Then I became extremely scared! I didn't even know how to be a mom...how was I going to pull this off?! But, you know my Daddy's example paved the way for my mothering...sounds kinda weird, I know. But, it was how he parented us...how he loved us, how he nurtured us, how he embraced parenthood with not only his whole heart but with his life! It's funny because a lot of who I am with my own children is so totally my dad! AND, when I look back at the kind of Father he was...I also, see my husband...now that can be really weird sometimes! But, to see my Husband doing the very same things with our children that my Daddy did with me is the most touching thing ever! What's even funnier is as I get older I have realized that a lot of who I am in life is my dad! I'm afraid he passed on his weird sense of humor...although, I do pray mine is a ton more tuned down and less vulgar in comparison. I've definitely inherited his stubbornness and gift for sarcasm. I also share his taste of goofy music...I definitely have a true love for The Beach Boys...Yep, I'm probably a weirdo...and I probably embarrass my kids just as much as he embarrassed me. Although, I secretly was extremely proud of his loud singing to weird music...and I always joined in when my friends weren't around! He totally should have released an album...I was his hugest fan, I'm sure! And, I hold closely the memory of dancing with Daddy on my sweet 16th surprise birthday party to "Have I told you lately that I love you?" by Rod Stewart.

Well, I am now at a moment in my life that I thought would not have come this soon...My Daddy is gone...and not really at the most convenient time, I might add. I couldn't be there to say goodbye, to hug him, to hold his hand, to stroke his brow, to rub his hair, to kiss him...I can't be there now to express all of these feelings myself...I can't be there for my family and friends. But, I trust in the Lord...this was not a coincidence or an accident or just mere chance...God planned this from the beginning...my Daddy's appointment to meet with Jesus was already planned even before his birth. This was no shocker to God. I promise you that He wasn't sitting there saying to the angels, "Oh great! I forgot that I gave Tina a baby at the same time I'm calling her Daddy to come home! Shoot, what did I do?! Oops...my bad!" No, this was His will...and because I trust Him, I know He has a plan in all of this. And besides, when is it ever a "convenient" time to lose a parent? It's not like I would have ever said, "Ok God, Ok Dad...it's a good time now for you to go ahead and do what you got to do." No way, it's never "convenient"...but, again...I know and trust that this was His purpose for this to happen exactly this way.

Why? Maybe it was to bring you all closer together. If I would have been there I would have wanted to take charge...God had another plan...Jason has been absolutely amazing and wonderful! What a man he has become in just this short time. Hillary and Bryan have matured greatly as well during this time and have become closer through this. You three have grown so much in this time and I praise God for it. I am so proud of all of you! I also needed to learn something here...to let go and fully trust in God to take care of things. I can't do everything, I can't take care of everyone...He wants me to grow in my faith in Him. Family and friends have come together for one purpose and have united together in love! I am so proud and so grateful for all of those who have been there and been involved. Some of you I don't even know...but I love you so much! I have no words to really even come close to expressing my true and sincere heartfelt gratitude for all of you! My heart is extremely overwhelmed with encouragement and thankfulness. I thank you all so much for keeping me involved as much as possible...thank you for allowing me to be there, if only in heart.

I feel God has allowed this time to also be a reminder for all of us to treasure and hold closely in our hearts. Life is so precious and so fragile...at any moment it could be gone...we never really know when our last breath will truly be our last. When God calls us to our home in eternity that's it....everything here is left behind...this life is just a split second in comparison to all of eternity. We need to cherish each other right now while we have one another. We need to stop wasting time and energy by focusing on each others faults and failures but instead focus on forgiveness and loving one another.

I couldn't be there with my Daddy...I can't be there with you all now...my heart is just so broken with sadness over this. I want to comfort you and hold you. But, I have this amazing comfort, joy and hope in my heart as well. I pray that you all will be able to have this kind of comfort also. My comfort is in the Lord...my joy is in the Lord...my hope is in the Lord. Right now He is calling for us to trust in Him and Him alone. He wants to be our comforter and our strength...He wants us to fall on Him and cry out to Him. He wants us to draw closer to Him in our times of pain and sorrow.

Here's a great quote that I have been saying to myself a lot lately..."I have a hope, I have a rock, and I cling to my Jesus!"

Jesus is my rock...Allow Him to be your rock as well...I pray that you can lean on Him right now and always. We can't understand everything God plans and wills...but, all of whom He is and all of what He does is for a good and perfect purpose even when it hurts, doesn't make any sense, or even seem fair. Trust in Him and fall on Him...allow Him to not just strengthen you...but actually be your strength.
(“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30)

We all leave behind a legacy of whom we are and what kind of person we were. Daddy left an amazing legacy...he was so kindhearted and generous. His heart was filled with so much love for everyone...even ugly stray animals (just look at his pet rat posing as a dog, Tinkerbell!) He would not just give you the shirt off his back but his pants and shoes too, and then not even think about how he's totally standing there naked now! His love and compassion for others in need was and is still so overwhelming to my heart! His mark left on this world and in the hearts of those he has touched is great! I know this is why so many people have come together...people that may not have even spoken to each other in years...but, there's so much unity and love and it's for one purpose...to celebrate and remember the man my Daddy was!

I love you all so very much and I sincerely thank all of you with my whole heart...

I love you so much Daddy!!! My hero...my rock...my best friend!!! I will miss you with all that is in me...but I rejoice in the Lord, and pray for the day that I am called home as well...for there are no goodbyes in Christ!

The Adventures of a "Super-Mom"

Woke up 20 minutes late...run down the stairs trying to balance my huge ginormous pregnant self, rushed to brush my teeth, yank my hair into a lousy poor excuse for a pony tail, throw clothes at the kiddies, grab them something fast to eat in the car, drive like a maniac to make it to school on time...but not to maniac-ish cause I don't want us to die, while driving remember I left the keys sitting on the counter & now I'm locked out of the house...YAY...Wait, the garage door opener...battery dead on the garage door opener, run into the store with the kids for a new battery (and toilet paper...and diaper wipes...and soap...we needed those too!) Wait...dun-dun-dun...I'm in my pj's (Oh well, at least I was wearing a coat...and stars aren't that bad!), get home only to figure out I accidentally changed the code on the garage door opener when I changed the battery...ERRRR...walk of shame next door to ask our Landlord if he by any chance has another spare set of keys (still in my pj's), Praise God he does...his wife was wearing her pj's too...but, she's warm & toasty in her own house and I'm out in the world!!! Ya, I take the kids to school in my pj's...don't judge me!

Finally warm inside the house with 4 year old Bella and 2 year old Joshy (both in their pajamas too)...I take a deep relaxing breather and fall onto a chair and lay my head down at the table for like a microsecond...

"Mama, I'm so hungry starving why are you putting your head down on the table? Are you trying to sleep?"
"Honey...please hold on just one second...Mama is trying to relax for a minute."
"But, remember I'm starving and I didn't even have any food yet?"
"Bella, please be patient sweetie...I'm trying to not pass out."
"You're not gonna pass out."
"Honey, Mama is pooped out...I had to run around all crazy this morning. My body & my brain are sooo tired."
"Mama, you have muscles...you're like Super Woman!"

I lift my head and smile...she's so stinkin' cute when she's trying to convince me to give in to her demands...

"Alright...let's go make you guys something to eat."
"YAY!!!"

He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
~Isaiah 40:29-31

I know this was meant for the people of Israel and other believers whom are waiting upon the Lord's deliverance to comfort them and encourage them in times of trials...but at this moment today, these verses were loud in my heart! Even in my own times of weakness & mini-trials...He is my strength! He will give me the power to be a "Super-Mom"...even if it's only the kids that think I am...mission accomplished!

I Am Thankful For...

This year is almost over...and the time for "Thanks" is already here! Wow, what a great learning year this has been for me!!! Although sometimes painful and rough, I know God uses anything, everything, ALL things for good!

I am learning to be content in what others may view as "little". I never thought that I wasn't content...I really and truly am happy with our "simple stuff"...I honestly don't have the desire to need (or want) more. But, this year God showed me just how dis-content I actually was...or can be.

Sometimes our finances looked a bit scary...sometimes even horrific!!! I'd pray hard for God's intervention and provisions...but, then I'd get up off my knees and turn right around and try to figure out a way to handle it myself...He was taking to long...or, my prayers would be answered in an unattractive/uncomfortable way. "That's not what I prayed for God...Well, it is but, that's not how I wanted it handled!" I was to prideful to accept His blessings.

This year it finally hit me..."Am I content with God...am I satisfied in Him?" I wasn't. If He were to take away even our "simple things" I would have freaked out...I would be very angry, upset, and discontent with my Lord. I would have questioned Him..."What have I done...I'm not materialistic...I don't desire what the world does...look at me God, I don't deserve to be treated this way by You...why won't You just have mercy on me and just bless me!?" But, what has He already blessed me with? What does He bless me with everyday? My life, my husband, my children, my home, food, clothing, a vehicle, our health, my family's health, a baby-to-be, my salvation!

God loves me! He wants me to be content and satisfied in Him...Him alone! If I had nothing else in this world, but Him...I should be just as satisfied...actually MORE! My husband is amazing and my children are the biggest blessings in my life...but God has to mean much more...He gave my family to me...it is because of Him that I have them! Sometimes life get's hard and scary...and even sometimes horrific...but I know now that I must trust Him and His love for me...He will provide in the best way He deems right...even if it makes me squirm and it isn't just what I had in mind...it is His will, and may His will be done...and may I be truly content with that. I am thankful for His merciful and loving kindness.

I am thankful this year for God's love, God's blessings, God's mercy, God's patience, God's refining, my husband, my beautiful children, my beautiful baby-girl-to-be, our health, my home, our stove/oven, electricity, running water, a full and working refrigerator, our clothing, working vehicles, my husband's job, the pleasure of being a "stay-at-home mom"...you know, all the "simple little" things!

What will you do with all of your clutter...will it be your legacy?

We moved a few months ago and since I got pregnant as soon as we moved in it seems, I wasn't able to really go through and unpack everything quite yet because my pregnancies are always chock full of nausea and super fun vomiting! Hehehe...kinda embarrassing! Anyways...since I only have 3 months to go I figured I better get moving...or well...rather, unpacking!

I was digging through a ton of boxes and bags of just "stuff"...clutter...junk...seriously just a bunch of useless stuff that for some reason I could never get rid of, throw out or pass on to someone else. I think I may have this terrible habit of keeping every single thing that ever crosses my path! I wouldn't call myself a hoarder per say...what hoarder would admit that anyway? But, I may be pretty close!

I seriously have so much junk I think it should be considered illegal to have this much useless stuff stored in one place! And, I've held onto to some of this stuff since I was a teenager! Why? Well, I am going to need it...right? Like, I have this really cute pair of jeans that I wore before I became a mom and I'm pretty sure that their kinda still in style and when I'm done having children they will probably fit me again, I think. Ok...do you see the problem with that whole statement of reasoning of mine?! First, it's really obvious that I am not done having children yet and who even knows when we will be! And, I honestly pray that they never ever fit me again...I was a tooth pick when I wore those things!

So as I was going through all of the things that I know really need to go...ASAP, I started thinking about things past...which made me think about my life and then about things growing up. I then realized that I really do have a habit of "holding onto things"...even things that aren't tangible physical things. I also realized that those things that I have never let go of have affected me as a person and have become a part of who I am. I mother a certain way and I "wife" a certain way...I always have guilt and stress. I'm always trying way to hard to do, do, do. I'm trying to hard to be perfect and not be like my parents. I want my family to just be happy...then when things go wrong I completely lose it and freak out! When I became saved, I gave everything to God...all of my sins were forgiven. But, what about the sins of my parents, grandparents, and other people in my life who have hurt me? I still held onto their sins. But why? Because they affected me as well, not just them. I still held onto my confusion, disappointment, sadness, fear, unforgive-ness (is that even a word?), anger and hate. I didn't even realize that I still had all of that packed away and stored up inside of me. This was the legacy passed on to me from my parents and their parents...this was a legacy passed on from other family members and other people in my life. This was a legacy my children were in danger of inheriting as well...maybe not in the same personal way as it was passed on to me...but there was still indeed a possibility of this legacy being passed on to them through my struggles and torment of not being able to let go.

For a few days I have been thinking about all of this unnecessary stuff just sitting around needing to be let go. How do I get rid of it? I CAN'T repent of other people's sin. But, I CAN forgive them for what they have done that has affected me personally. And, I don't need to call them up and say, "Hey, just wanted to let you know that I have forgiven you and everything is all good now." They don't even really need to know that I have forgiven them. Honestly, if they wanted my forgiveness they probably would have come to me personally and asked for it...and since they haven't, then they may not even think they've done anything that would render forgiveness in the first place...it would be silly and maybe even prideful for me to announce that I have forgiven them. Thus, leading to even more drama and even more heartache...and the point is forgiveness.

It's hard to let go and forgive...especially when that person could care less, or doesn't even know or realize what they have done, or you lost contact with them, or maybe they have even passed away. But, God has forgiven US for all of our sins against Him. He has said to us, "I forgive you and everything is forgotten and washed away clean...it's all good now." Ok...maybe He doesn't say, "It's all good now." But, you get the point. My biggest argument against that is, "Well He's God, He can forgive anything and everything...I'm just a human being, and they did (such & such)!" EXACTLY...He is God...I am just a human being! And, I am putting myself higher than God when I choose not to forgive someone for sinning against ME, a mere human being...but God Almighty, the creator of the universe forgives me when I sin against HIM! We need to forgive...He has commanded that we forgive, just as He has forgiven us. (Eph.4:32 & Col.3:12-13)

We come to God for forgiveness of our own sins...we confess them to Him. We can also come to God and "confess" the sins of those who hurt us...not for Him to forgive them...because only the sinner of the sin is able to repent and then receive forgiveness from God...but asking Him to help us to forgive them.

There can be an end to mine and my family's legacy. It really doesn't even have to be "mine" anymore. I have the power to let it go and let it end. There is a conscience decision here. It's not the old train of thought, "Well, life dealt me this hand of cards..." To some point your life is whatever your family makes it when you are younger, but eventually what life becomes is what you have decided to make it as you grow. It's your choice. Will you simply follow the old path already laid out and paved for you? Will you leave that old life behind, but then still hold onto resentment? Will you confess it all to God and then trust Him to heal you and grow you?

I've been working on cleaning out the garage, the basement, the closets, etc...Things need to go...I need to make room for our new little one and just buck-up and de-clutter away all of the un-needed, unnecessary, useless junk!

I am also slowly working on cleaning out my memories and my heart as well...Again, things need to go...I need to make room for our new memories and just buck-up and de-clutter away all of the un-needed, unnecessary, useless junk!

I have decided that my family is way to important and deserves more than my left over legacy and I will not be passing it down on to them. I will, with God's help be passing on a new family legacy, with new memories filled with lots of love, lots of patience, lots of trust and most importantly lots of love for God.

What will you do with all of your useless clutter...will it become a part of your legacy?

Here's Some News For Ya...

Sooo...here's a bit of news for everyone...I'm pregnant...again!

Yep, again!

I know ok...we are crazy, insane, out of our ever loving minds!!!

Now, to answer some of your questions...

Question: What the heck are you guys thinking?!
Answer: Well duh...I'm pregnant...it's kinda obvious what we were thinking...and, that's between us anyways!

Question: Are you guys crazy?!
Answer: Nope, I'm sure we're both pretty sane...at least that's what the discharge papers from the institution said.

Question: Why didn't one of you get fixed?!
Answer: Because neither one of us were broken...duh, aint it obvious since we're having another baby?

Question: Haven't you guys figured out what causes this?!
Answer: Uhhhh...well, ya! Again...duh, we're having another baby! So, I'm guessing we figured out how they happen...and accomplished it...again!

Question: So, are you guys done yet?!
Answer: Well, right now the baby is still being formed and stuff...soooo, technically we're not done yet.

Question: How are you guys going to afford another baby?!
Answer: In the same way we do now. We aren't rich, our kids don't get every single thing they want, we don't buy brand new expensive name brand clothing, we don't go on elaborate family vacations...but, God blesses us abundantly and our family has also been blessed with the absence of materialism. I thank God my children don't crave the materials of this world...they enjoy family! We could easily buy their affections, but will that last in the end? Will all those "things" matter? I want our children to think on their childhood and remember Mom & Dad talking to them and teaching them about God, loving them unconditionally, lovingly disciplining them when necessary, caring deeply about them, knowing they were important to us, spending time with them, and just having the greatest times together as a family...even if they were simple...

Question: What are you guys going to do with another baby?!
Answer: Well, give birth...love them, hold them, kiss them, hug them, raise them...pretty much the same thing that we're doing with the other children we already have. Why? What do you do with your children?

Well...I hope I was able to address some of your concerns.
Now, if you could join our family in prayer of thankfulness, joy, and hope for our new little one to be.

With Lots of Love,
Tina & Gary

Sweetly Broken...

I am very sorry for the very graphic video below. To be completely honest, I myself couldn't even watch a lot of it. But, this is what He has done for us...and I am sickened that some of us dare to even suggest that there are many ways into heaven! My question...If there was another way don't you think God would have chosen another way? If there was another way than why would God put His only precious Son who was perfectly sinless through any of this? If there was another way don't you think Jesus Himself would have never submitted to such a cruel and torturous death?! If there was another way than the beautiful cross wouldn't mean anything!!! He suffered and died on that cross for us...He chose to die to pay for our sins...We killed Him...Our sins murdered Him! He loved us that much! (John 3:16)

There is no other way....He is the ONLY way the truth and the life! (John 14:6)

He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our
iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed. ~Isaiah 53:5

Please REALLY listen to the words...